Gestational Surrogacy

At our post-IVF consult with Dr. Beltsos it was agreed that gestational surrogacy would be our next step. The condition of my uterus seemed to be the obstacle that was keeping us from success in our past cycles. Greg and I were very impressed with Mindy from Lotus Blossom Consulting, but decided to research some local surrogacy agencies before making a final decision. We spent the next few weeks exploring all of our options. After meeting with the other agencies and talking to other women who had used gestational surrogates, we made a decision to work with Mindy. We felt that she had the most experience and resources to help us find the perfect surrogate. We also really trusted Dr. Beltsos' referral. You can learn more about Mindy Berkson and Lotus Blossom Consulting at the following link: http://lotusblossomconsulting.com/

Greg and I feel very confident in our choice and are excited to start the surrogacy process. We know that we are in great hands with Dr. Beltsos and Mindy Berkson. We continue to pray every night that our baby will find us soon. We are looking forward to keeping you updated in our journey. Please keep us in your  thoughts and prayers.

IFV #3 Pregnancy test

I traveled to the FCI Highland Park office yesterday morning for my blood pregnancy test. From my previous experiences, I had decided that I would work in the morning and take the afternoon off to be prepared to receive the phone call with the results. I had requested that my nurse or doctor be the person to call as I knew this could be a hard phone call to receive. Right around noon, I received the call from my nurse, Charlene, who broke the devastating news to me. All I could do was cry. In between breaking the news to family and friends for the next hour and crying, I decided that I needed to do something to make myself feel happier and as if I was taking action toward a better ending. I immediately contacted Mindy Berkson, who we had spoken to in December to find out how we could get started in the surrogacy process. During our January cycle, Greg and I had talked a lot about our "plan B" and decided that we would find a way to make surrogacy work. It was great to talk to Mindy and know that she would be able to help us through the surrogacy process. She sent us her contract to look over and in the meantime we would talk to Dr. Beltsos in a week to discuss this cycle and next steps. That night Greg and I prayed for strength, as well as a sign as to whether or not surrogacy should be our next step.

IVF #3

I went through this third IVF cycle feeling a new sense of hope. My quotes were helping my start out each day in a positive way. I received many comments from family and friends that were enjoying my quotes each day. Greg and I were stronger than ever and really enjoying our time of prayer together each night. My acupuncture sessions were helping with the emotional stress involved in an IVF cycle, as well as the physical side effects from all of the medications. I responded very well to all of the stimulation medications again and my egg retrieval was scheduled for January 14th. Dr. Beltsos retrieved 25 eggs!! This was by far my best response yet. Of the 25 eggs, 22 were mature and 18 fertilized. This was incredible!! Five days later we transferred three beautiful embryos into my uterus. The next day we learned that none of the other embryos were able to be frozen. We were absolutely devastated, but focused on praying that the three embryos that were transferred would make a home inside of me. We would find out the results of this cycle on January 31st. We continued to pray and hope for the best.

Acupuncture

Since I had enjoyed acupuncture treatments so much during the Frozen Transfer, I decided to continue them throughout this third IVF cycle. I really enjoyed my sessions at Pulling Down the Moon, but I was traveling an hour to Arlington Heights once a week and it was not covered by insurance. Because of those two factors, I decided to seek out a new acupuncturist to use during this cycle. Through my insurance, I was able to find a woman named Nanci Bankier who has her own business called Natural Balance Healing  Centers. She is located in Riverwoods, which is much closer for me and treatments are partially covered under my insurance. You can read more about her practice at the following link: http://www.nbhealing.com/
I had my first appointment with Nanci yesterday and absolutely loved her. She is very knowledgeable about treating infertility and uterine fibroids and I felt very confident in this change that I was making. I was excited to work with Nanci during this IVF cycle.

New year, new attitude

Since I am a positive person by nature I knew that I couldn't continue with the negative attitudes and emotions that were prevailing after the failed frozen transfer. I decided to start the new year off with a new attitude. I made a decision to post a positive quote as my Facebook status every single day. Greg and I also decided to start praying together each night before bed. I chose a prayer for us that I found in the Fully Fertile book. It was written by Sir Thomas Merton and its words are below.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone. 

Plan B

As Dr. Beltsos suggested, we met with Mindy Berkson of Lotus Blossom Consulting to discuss our "plan B" in case our next cycle was not successful. We traveled to Chicago to meet with Mindy at her office. It was evident to us that Mindy was very experienced and knowledgeable when it comes to helping couples in our situation. She has a vast range of resources to help with all parts of the process. While we were very impressed with Mindy's presentation, it was also a very overwhelming experience. Neither Greg, nor I had any idea of the cost of surrogacy. I will never forget our meeting with Mindy that day and our ride down in the elevator. I left feeling like it was a lot of money, but if this is what we needed to do, then we would do it. Greg did not agree with me at this point which brought a lot of emotions out during the car ride home.

I think that I cried the entire ride home because of our disagreement in terms of whether surrogacy would be our "plan B". I felt like we would be doomed if this next cycle didn't work. I was really sad and scared. The end of December was definitely an ultimate low for me in terms of our fertility journey. It probably didn't help that I ended up with Strep throat on top of everything. I felt so defeated and began to question whether we were really meant to be parents at all.

Maggie

My niece, Maggie, is a true blessing in my life. After receiving the first no from an IVF cycle in April of 2010, I made sure to always have my niece with me on the day of my pregnancy test results. She helped me to stay strong when I received the devastating news time after time. I love her so much and can't imagine life without her in it.