24 weeks: Maternity Photos

Greg and I attended our 24 week appointment 2 weeks ago. Both babies our growing well and are estimated to be 1lb 10oz each. From this point forward, appointments will be every two weeks until they eventually become weekly. After the appointment we enjoyed lunch with our GS, her husband and their two children. Then Greg, our GS and I had some maternity photos taken by her relatives that have a photography business. Their business is Peaces of You Photography in Bloomington, IL. They did a wonderful job of helping us capture some photos from this amazing journey. I am so excited to share a sneak peek of some of the photos. I also can't wait to share them with our children so that they know all the love it took to bring them into this world. 

Photo taken by Peaces of You Photography

Photo taken by Peaces of You Photography

Photo taken by Peaces of You Photography

Photo taken by Peaces of You Photography

Photo taken by Peaces of You Photography

Photo taken by Peaces of You Photography

Busting an Infertility Myth

Myth:  Surrogacy is only for the rich or celebrities.

Busted!: When most people hear the word surrogacy, they think of Sarah Jessica Parker, Nicole Kidman, or one of the other celebrities that has used a surrogate to have a child. Others might just think of dollar signs. Well, Greg and I are not celebrities(at least not yet) and we are definitely not rich. It is true that surrogacy is an expensive process. The cost of surrogacy can range from $50,000-$80,000. There are many fees associated with surrogacy including, but not limited to the following: agency, surrogate compensation, legal, criminal background checks, mental health examinations, life insurance, health insurance and other policies, and escrow management. 
 

The variance in the cost of surrogacy depends on a number of factors. Do the intended parents have a friend/family member that is willing/able to carry the baby for them or will they need to find a surrogate? Will they use an agency/infertility consultant to help locate a surrogate or will they try to find one independently? Does the surrogate have health insurance or will the intended parents need to purchase a health insurance policy for her? Is the intended mother able to use her own eggs or will they need donor eggs? The cost of surrogacy can differ depending on these factors, but like everything, there is a certain amount of risk involved in any path. 

Intended parents can find the money to pay for the surrogacy process in a variety of different areas. Some may have had enough time to save a portion or all of the cost. Others are lucky enough to have family members that can loan them some or all of the money needed. Another option is borrowing against retirement plans/insurance policies or taking out a Home Equity Loan if you are able. 

Our fertility consultant, Mindy Berkson, of Lotus Blossom Consulting, has a new ebook out in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week(NIAW) called "Everything You Need To Know About Navigating the Infertility Maze". She wrote this to help couples set clear expectations and explore financial options before embarking on their journey through infertility. It is her hope to help her clients become their own best advocate through the process. 60% of the proceeds of this book go to The Jude Andrew Adams Charitable Fund, the not-for-profit arm of Lotus Blossom Consulting. This fund was established to help a financially needy couple receive a complementary treatment cycle. More information can be found on Mindy's website. 

A final option for funding surrogacy is to search for any grants/financing options on the Internet. There are financing options available for couples that do not have insurance. Assistance for couples that choose adoption as a way to build their family is also available. However, there does not appear to be much in terms of grants for surrogacy. Greg and I were lucky enough to meet Todd and Melissa Trader, the founders of Birdies for Babies, a non-profit organization that was started to help couples start their families. Their annual outing in September, which is sponsored by Fertility Centers of Illinois, raises money for families that have to pay out-of-pocket for fertility treatments. Our special July outing will help us to raise money to cover some of the cost of the surrogacy process. 

As you can see, surrogacy does not discriminate. If it is your "plan b", there are ways to make it happen by taking the time to learn about the surrogacy process and financial options before rushing into anything. I would like to close with a quote from Mindy:

 "In my experience taking the time to build the foundation for surrogacy and pull together all the necessary pieces that need to accompany a surrogacy arrangement is the best approach.  In the long run this always maximizes chances of success for my clients and minimizes financial expenditures not just for one cycle, but for the end family building goal."

To gain a basic understanding of Infertility, visit http://www.resolve.org/infertility101

To learn more about National Infertility Awareness Week, visit http://www.resolve.org/takecharge.

Plan B

As Dr. Beltsos suggested, we met with Mindy Berkson of Lotus Blossom Consulting to discuss our "plan B" in case our next cycle was not successful. We traveled to Chicago to meet with Mindy at her office. It was evident to us that Mindy was very experienced and knowledgeable when it comes to helping couples in our situation. She has a vast range of resources to help with all parts of the process. While we were very impressed with Mindy's presentation, it was also a very overwhelming experience. Neither Greg, nor I had any idea of the cost of surrogacy. I will never forget our meeting with Mindy that day and our ride down in the elevator. I left feeling like it was a lot of money, but if this is what we needed to do, then we would do it. Greg did not agree with me at this point which brought a lot of emotions out during the car ride home.

I think that I cried the entire ride home because of our disagreement in terms of whether surrogacy would be our "plan B". I felt like we would be doomed if this next cycle didn't work. I was really sad and scared. The end of December was definitely an ultimate low for me in terms of our fertility journey. It probably didn't help that I ended up with Strep throat on top of everything. I felt so defeated and began to question whether we were really meant to be parents at all.